It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
