Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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