Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
