nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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