If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
