this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
