i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
