that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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