This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
