You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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