I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
