God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I supernannyed him into submission
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
