I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
