I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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