You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
how drunk are you?
Several
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
