Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
did i just pee glitter
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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