Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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