apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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