I'd wear matching sweaters with you
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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