The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
