love makes seman taste better
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
