She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just found puke in my bra..
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
