Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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