i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
