I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
