ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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