I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
