Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
