I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
