Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
