i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
