I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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