I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
