Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
