Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
