I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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