Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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