You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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