Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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