a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i love accidental penises.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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