careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
