I wannas sexs uuuuu
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize