Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
