I was born with a shot glass in my hand
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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