I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
