On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize