problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
