I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
