It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
