Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?

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(646): View more from New York

so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"

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(949): View more from California

The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning

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(256): View more from Alabama

we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.

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(805): View more from California

my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.

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(407): View more from Florida

I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.

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