i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
