the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
