Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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