after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she looked like the before picture.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
