So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
