alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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