You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
