She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Randomize
