I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
