omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
