I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
