hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
