Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He did a backflip because drugs
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