yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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