im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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