38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
