why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
