About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
